Lesson learned AND followed!

So, I believe I have learned that you can't reason with someone with Alzheimer's - especially when you are wordy like me!  By the time I get to the end of my reasoning, Mom has forgotten what we are even talking about and asks me what day it is!

Today, I made a good choice and followed the lesson I have learned.  Maybe because it was partly my fault?

I made lunch today and I am sick of the standard 5 things we eat for lunch so I made black bean veggie soup - I love it, it's economical and really good for you.  I knew it would not make mom's fave list, but I want her to have a variety of foods and for her to stay physically healthy, so I tried.  I didn't give her much and I added a pinch of sea salt to give it the saltiness she craves.

Bless her heart - she tried.  She dunked her 1/2 sandwich in the soup, she took a few spoons, she tried...but in the end - she drank her coffee, ate her sandwich and peered over the edge of her tiny soup bowl and sighed.

I got up to do the dishes just like always and out of the corner of my eye I see her feeding Sophie the rest of the soup!  I jumped into action and got the bowl away from both of them - not an easy feat.  Mom loves
Sophie (or that little doggy, as she calls her) and Sophie loves people food.  All I could think of is when Bagel got a hold of a bean burrito when I was pregnant with Keaton (my first trimester craving) and her little dog belly swelled up and she waddled around the house tooting for 2 days.  In classic pregnancy form - sometimes it made me laugh hysterically and sometimes I just burst into to tears!  Either way - I would rather not repeat this event with Sophie!

Anyway, instead of showing any remorse, mom went into action telling me she'd always fed her dogs soup and "anything else I wanted to".  I know she has no idea I'm her child or that I lived with her for many years and the dogs were mine - but I can honestly say at no point did HRP or Casey ever eat soup!  I remember mom making chicken and sometimes rice for HRP when he got really old and she fed Casey that disgusting Alpo in a can, but other than the occasional pizza crust or green bean, I am sure they did not feast at the table with us. 

A non-ALZ person would have probably said they were sorry, but not mom - she became a 10 year old and went into excuses and her loud voice.  I wanted to scold her as if she were my child...it was my first instinct.  I suppose it's because in many ways I am her mother - food maker, clothes washer, medicine giver, tuck her in-er, alarm clock, chauffeur, etc.  However - I know better.  And since this can't be about me or manners or learning I walked upstairs to put on a bit of makeup.  I was gone for maybe 7 minutes and mom has no recollections of the Black Bean Soup Caper (Sophie is still smiling through her nasty bean beard!) and I don't have a headache!

Lesson learned AND followed - I'll be giving myself a caregiver gold star for this one!