Monday, October 28, 2013

WOW! Bigger than the normal WOW...ginormous WOW!

Some days require planning, some days require preparation, some days require check lists...yesterday was one of those days.  It was Homecoming Saturday - the first of many, I am sure, Peyton had a friend sleep over, Patrick had to work, the lawn needed to be mowed and Murph had baseball practice from 4-7.

What I wanted to do was to sleep in - all day maybe!, but my list of tasks would not allow that.  Besides, mom doesn't handle a day off schedule very well.  So, alarm off at 7:00...could've slept til 7:30 since I really couldn't shower until we finished the yard work! Fire in the fireplace to take the edge off the cold and damp of the downstairs, started breakfast and got mom started getting ready.

Very normal morning - the kiddos even came down in order - Keaton is my early riser, the Patrick and then the girls.  Since it was cool - I made oatmeal...not the healthy kind - banana, chocolate chip oatmeal - the yummy kind!

Mom and I sat at the table and ate - I tried to give her my undivided attention (as much as I could with everyone else needing something) - it was a good start to the day.  I try my best to take baby bites and talk too much so I don't finish my breakfast 'WAY before she finishes, but I never seem to time it just right.  So, I got up and fed Sophie, sat back down to finish my coffee, got up to put the oatmeal pan in to soak, sat back down for another sip of coffee, put the kids dishes in the dishwasher, sat back down one more time. 

Finally mom finished up, so I cleared the bowls and mugs and put them in the dishwasher.  Mom was still sitting at the table.  I grabbed up some recycling to take out and mom was still sitting there.  I turned around to see if Sophie wanted to come out with me and glanced over at mom and she was head down, hands trembling and really out of it.  It was so scary and so sad.

I had Patrick call 911 - thought she was having another stroke or another attack of the heart arrythmia.

Funniest thing - mom remembered my name and who I was when she was totally out of it...she called me Lisa and asked me to sit with her for a sweetly.

Paramedics came - stable, vitals, history, decision not to go to hospital, here's what it could be, here's what you need to do Monday, etc.  It was a big deal - they were here for 30 minutes or so.  Half the neighborhood stopped by to make sure everything was okay.  They came up with sirens wailing, they brought their big stretcher and lots of monitors and hooked mom up to everything - even pricked her finger to do a blood test!

And as soon as they were out the didn't remember that they had even been there.  She didn't want to rest, she didn't want to drink the Gatorade or water, she didn't want to take it easy.  Why on Earth should she rest?

ALZ never fails to blow my mind, but bearing witness to something like that is unbelievable.  How is it possible to be that suddenly sick and unable to function and then not remember anything about it in 2 minutes?

It's getting harder and harder to communicate with mom - she has no points of reference, but she is always right.  She NEEDS to always be right.  I know the books and blogs and experts say there is no benefit to arguing or even explaining most of the time...but how weird to argue with a grown woman about the fact that we had to call 911 that morning and the doctor/paramedics said to do this and this and this...


Tuesday, October 8, 2013

What a week...(or so)...

I have a head cold...a long, lingering head cold.  I find that the pills and liquids and tablets designed to make me feel better make me feel thick.  or anxious.  or buzzy.  I am trying to take comfort in the fact that I feel better with the head cold and nothing else.  Unfortunately, the realization that I feel best without the head cold ruins that theory!

A head cold requires lots of tissues, cough drops, bottles of water. glasses of juice, bowls of soup, ice pops and probably patience.  I never made it to the store to get ice pops and I have clearly misplaced my patience underneath the piles of used tissues and cough drop wrappers!

There have been challenges, joys and compromises throughout my head cold period and then there was Sunday.  Sundays are tough.  They perplex mom.  The bring to light the things she would rather ignore.  Mom gets feisty on Sundays.

This Sunday she was in rare form and so was I!  We maintained our distance as best we could.  I was pretty quiet and kept a smile pasted on my face most of the day.   And I mean ALL day. 

I slept in...I was up most of the night coughing and I turned off my alarm.  I slept until 8:00, showered and headed downstairs.  Mom was up, sitting in her nightgown in her chair not very happy.  I smiled and just tried to move the day onward and upward.  One problem...Keaton had geometry that he needed help with and Patrick had to leave for work at 11:30.  That meant they would be working at the kitchen table and mom and I would have to make do with trays in the family or living room...eeeeeek!

That was the beginning of the end of all hope for an easy day. 

The kids were great with me and with mom.  We held it together pretty well considering mom let Jason in, thinking he was an old man resident or the maintenance man - depends on when I asked her.  She spent 2 hours eating a Halloween snack bag of M&Ms "secretively".  She even lied to Sophie - her partner in crime.  Apparently partnership only goes so doesn't love anyone or anything enough to share her M&Ms!  She got on a "what time do we eat" kick really early - VERY early! 

It all came to a head at dinner.  I made a really nice Sunday meal - Bacon Wrapped Chicken bites in a sweet and spicy rub, steamed broccoli and creamy, buttery parmesan rice.  Peyton is picky.  She eats 4 or 5 things and I didn't make any of them.  That means she can eat cereal or PB&J or leftovers.  Sunday we had leftover corn dogs - she loves corn dogs!

I got started early on dinner because Sundays are a challenge without a head cold and I wanted to be ready!  I planned, I had the table set beautifully, I had the prep dishes done and put away, I had a plan to get everything to finish at exactly the same was a beautiful thing.  Until the ketchup.  I asked Peyton to get drinks and to grab some ketchup for her corn dogs.  She grabbed the bottle and filled her ramekin and was going to put the bottle back in the fridge when mom muttered "I might like some of that...."  I can't do the conversation justice, but suffice it to say - we left the ketchup on the table after failing to explain adequately that we weren't eating anything that required or would even benefit slightly from ketchup. 

I have no idea why, but you could almost watch mom getting more and more frustrated while I finished up our meal.  By the time we sat down, she refused to look at me, she wouldn't speak to the kids and she went for the ketchup with a vengeance.  She poured ketchup on my beautiful chicken and all over the rice I made with organic butter and the expensive Parmesan cheese and freshly cut chives...I wanted to cry.  She also made a fuss about having less on her plate and the smallest drink cup, so I got her more chicken to destroy and switched glasses with her.  Bless her heart, she nearly made herself sick finishing it, but she was desperate to WIN.

Peyton sat most of the meal with her mouth hanging open - how do I explain to her why mom gets to break all the rules I make them follow!  Keaton just smirked and chuckled under his breath.  I stopped being angry and decided to enjoy my own beautiful meal and just let it go.  I can't get the images out of my brain.  Ketchup, ketchup and more ketchup. 

Oh well, Monday was better, today she is tired and I think I am seeing light at the end of the head cold tunnel...maybe tomorrow will hold the cure!