We live in Texas and it's hot! It's August in Texas and it's HOT! We haven't had any rain in August in Texas and it's lunchtime, so it's DARNED HOT! And then there's the whole "we live in the Metroplex" pollution thing - so when it's DARNED HOT there is usually a HEAT ADVISORY and warnings for everyone with allergies, any illness, respiratory issues, etc to stay inside.
Mom has no idea we live in Texas, she has no concept of what month it is and she goes back and forth by the minute as to whether she thinks it's hot or cold or just right outside. She can't remember that she has COPD or any of her other ailments and she certainly doesn't remember that every time I take her anyplace outside of the home, it takes me 2 or 3 hours to get her calmed back down.
So, she sits looking out the window and wants to go outside. She asks about the weather - she asks if I've been outside today - she asks if she has anyplace she needs to go today - "it's so pretty outside" - "why is it so blasted cold in here?". All of it means that she would love to go outside. Mind you, we sit outside every morning. I water the flowers, I deadhead and weed, I sweep and wipe down patio furniture, I pick up random sports equipment and dog toys that didn't quite make it back to where they belong after my kids got called in for dinner or dance or homework or a movie or whatever. If it's a day when we get the paper - I read aloud to her. If it's not a day we get the paper - I reread the articles from the day before that she found most entertaining. She basks in the warmth and I sweat the overpriced BB cream off my face!
So what is the answer? Do I tell her that it's too hot to be outside and that's doctor's orders? Do I change the subject? Do I remind her about being out earlier? Do I downplay how long I'm going to be gone when I run and errand? Should I be honest when I'm going someplace she no longer could master physically?
I know I can't tell her ahead of time about any appointments that she has because she will worry herself into a frenzy. She won't remember what we are supposed to do or when, but it sticks on the backside of her brain and nags at her until it's over. And the funniest thing is, as soon as it's over, she forgets every shred of it - the worry, the appointment, any fun she may have had, ALL of it!
I am adopting this for anything I may have to do, as well. Her fear of me leaving is pretty intense. Her reaction, as I have mentioned before, is usually anger toward me (whether or not she even knows it's me)... and that is before I leave and after I get back. So I don't tell her.
I just can't decide what to do about this weather thing - there is a real risk in having her outside on a day like this, but as soon as she knows she can't...she fixates on it. For the first time in a long time, she doesn't care what day it is or if we've had lunch - she wants to talk about outside and the weather and how much she hates being stuck in this house. What do I do?
Mom has lost her ability to reason, to remember, to understand. Once she's decided the man (that's me) is keepin' her down by not letter go outside on this beautiful day - she will nod her head and smile when I remind her that we spent the whole morning outside. She will get downright disgusted and look at me with a deep distrust when I tell her the doctor has said she can't be outside when it's over 100. She will have the same conversation with me about the weather - changing the details every single time - in an effort to break me down and get her way.
It's one of the things I never thought about...c'mon October! I'm ready for a month of days we can sit on the patio from breakfast to dinner if that's what we need to do.
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