Saturdays are made for chores at my house (now that baseball is over and before dance competitions start). Sheets, towels, bathrooms, counters and lots of laundry. I also tend to play Food Network all day long to entertain me while I'm doing chores...when I need a break, I back it up, watch someone fabulous do something fabulous to create something fabulous...and I'm usually motivated to finish something around the house with a bit of extra flair.
Today started off great - I worked on the bedrooms earlier in the week, so that was a breeze! Even Sophie waking mom up 15 minutes early didn't throw me off. We had a wonderful breakfast, she ate really well (for mom - that means 1 egg, 1/2 English muffin and a slice of cantelope...but still!), she took her pills without any mishaps (I have nearly perfected the morning pill line up - the order in which I place the pills by her plate, in front of her water cup and so the pill that is the hardest to get down doesn't get taken first...which is harder than you might think - she never takes them in the same order...weird, huh?...so I just have to get in tune with my inner Peg and guess based on the chi or the vibe or the lines on the placemat - whatever!...and I am on a roll this week!).
All was well until after lunch - the kids brought down the laundry and she got really sarcastic about the laundry - as if it were beneath her and what kind of woman was I to make so much dirty laundry. I wanted to scream at her. And she wouldn't let it go. That's when I committed the caregivers biggest mistake...I talked to her about it - reasoned with her, explained to her, was honest with her....what was I thinking? So, in an effort to make up for her sarcasm and hautiness, she decided to wring her hands playing the victim for "just sitting her not helping". Poor you (whoever I was!) and how can I help. Well, there's a good question - How CAN you help? Mom doesn't have the physical strength to bend down to pick up laundry, to carry laundry, to load a washer or dryer...she may or may not remember how to fold laundry...so how could she help? And, as I am sure I've mentioned before - I sort the laundry in the family room since our laundry room is not exactly spacious and the pile of laundry baffle her. She fixates on them. Stares them down, puts her face in her hands and looks up quickly hoping they've disappeared.
I tried every response - peppy, polite, pshhhaw, joking, serious, grateful - every way I could think of to say "thanks, but no thanks", but she was like a dog with a bone...at least 2 hours of this back and forth laundry drama. Finally, at 2:10, she nodded off. I was stealth washer woman for 35 minutes...pure, super quiet joy!
So, she wakes up and she no longer wants to help - she is bored. "Where is everybody?", "There's sure nothin' goin' on around THIS place!", "I don't suppose I'm going anywhere today...", "I'm going in the other room and see if anybody is doing anything in there.", "This is the most boring, longest day I can remember in a long time."....Arrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh! I offered the newspaper, cross word puzzle books, magazines, a book, a movie, the golf tournament, Cowboys preseason football (only because they aren't showing the Browns game until Monday), a snack...she told me she had already done all those things (NOT) and then put her head back and sighed.
It's weird to try and entertain someone with Alzheimer's. You can't have a conversation because they can't follow along, don't remember from one sentence to the next and mom, at least, makes things up to seem more like she doesn't have Alzheimer's. I can take her somewhere to do something and she won't remember it 5 minutes after it's over, she can't watch a movie - even ones she knew so well when she was younger. Mom and I always had a special bond over movie musicals - especially Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire movies and now she gets so caught up in who the actors are (because I think she knows she should remember them) that she can't enjoy the movie. She used to love sports - not so much anymore - even the classic games on one of the ESPN stations or Tennis Channel don't interest her. I want her to be happy or at least contented. I certainly don't want her to be bored (I despise it when my kids tell me they're bored!!!).
Mom is winding down again for the evening. It's a tough transition, but at least it's something we've got a "set in stone routine" for ... One last load of laundry to transfer from the washer to the dryer...even though mom doesn't know it - I am going to bask in that accomplishment! Good night!
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