Today is shaping up to be one of those days where if you don't plan and execute everything perfectly, something will crash or someone will cry or something will get missed.
I, selfishly, HAD to get to TKP to swim - I am on a pretty impressive roll (for me) and I don't want to quit and lose this momentum. Keaton has his first football scrimmage. I have 2 doctor appointments. Peyton has a play date. Patrick has to work at 3:00. Keaton wants to sell his last 5 fundraiser coupons. I have a PTA meeting. Tonight is "Meet the Teacher" at PHIS. And mom needs all the things mom needs.
I am a planner. This is not a gray area. I am an alarm-clock-setting-pack-the-night-before-over-communicating-list-making planner. I make myself and those around me nuts. Part of what makes me nuts is this new situation with mom. It doesn't matter if I tell her what is planned for the day or if I put it on the calendar or if I write it on a note and tape it to her walker. She won't remember. This is different than if she has an appointment...those "stick" and although she can't remember details, she knows something is about to happen. My stuff, the kids' stuff, Patrick's stuff, Sophie's stuff - could care less. No room in the vault for that. So I listen to her complain about there not being enough to do - all the while I'm folding laundry, cooking her breakfast, doing dishes, feeding the dog, watering the plants, making beds, helping Peyton and trying to stay in touch with Patrick to see how Murph's scrimmage is going. (and YES, I am also dealing with the resentment of not being able to be there, but after mom's behavior yesterday with Peyton, no WAY am I leaving her here alone with mom....that just wouldn't be nice...and it's a scrimmage, not a game...but it's his first and I never miss firsts anymore...sigh...).
She is in rare form this morning. Doesn't want to do her memory games, doesn't want to work the crossword, read the paper, look at a magazine, watch tv or work the jigsaw puzzle. She is sitting in the red room gazing out the window and sighing at the rate of one long sigh per 3 minutes and 2-3 short sighs with some mumbling to show her displeasure, in between. It makes me sad. And not thinking of mom for a minute and thinking of me and P - it's a lot of pressure to fix it. We like it when mom is happy, we feel accomplished when she smiles and sings and 'da-da-dums'. But today we can't find the magic activity or conversation or show. ARRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! Oh well, as long as we are trying our best and not taking her displeasure personally...I guess all will be well.
Time to help Peyton pack her school supplies for MTT tonight. Gotta get that checked off my list before I leave for the doctor.
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