Thursday, September 5, 2013

The Denture Game

I know it's not funny, but it's funny.  This new fear that someone is going to steal mom's dentures in the night has taken on a life of it's own.

Some nights she tucks them into her sweater pocket and then tries to pretend she still has them in her mouth so I won't ask about them.  Some nights she keeps them in and tucks all the "stuff" (denture cream, toothpaste, toothbrush and the overnight holder) into various parts of her clothing and walker.  Then she can't figure out how to get them out and complete her evening routine.  One night she actually went into her room, shut the dividers (which she NEVER does) and hid all the pieces in different places!  It took me 20 minutes the next morning to help her find them so she could get ready for breakfast, her poor dentures wrapped in a tissue under the pillow on the chair all dried out.  Some nights I catch her at a good point and explain that she leaves them in her bathroom and although I can tell she doubts me deeply, she leaves them in there.  Usually that requires 2 or 3 "pssssst, c'mere's" to bring me over to ask in whispered tones if her dentures will be okay "down here" - that's when I can tell she thinks she is at Meadowlakes and that "down here" means the public restroom outside the big dining hall - I can see where she might not want to leave them there!  She always confides to me that some of these women can't be trusted and then glances back over her shoulder at the bathroom as she is walking away.

Last night she was in a foul mood because I wouldn't turn the tv on in the family room - the kids were both overwhelmed with homework last night - Peyton had 2 auditions this morning, 1 project to finish and 2 projects to present today - lots of practicing.  Keaton had 100 Spanish vocab words to copy, a Pre-AP Geometry paper due today and PreAP English vocab words to study for a test tomorrow (he has a game tonight - so studying is but a fleeting hope for me!).  I don't have a lot of rules, but I don't allow television, phones or i-Pad until homework is finished.  Mom has a tv in her room, but she thinks it's a punishment to have to sit in there, so she won't watch it until she is full-out ticked off at me. 

The sad thing is - she thinks that by being nasty she is going to get her way or guilt me into doing what she wants.  I'm just not wired that way.  When my kids or co-workers or fellow volunteers do crap like that - I dig in.  I'm not proud of it, but I can't help it.  After the initial defeat, she then will wander through whatever we are doing talking over whatever we are saying and hinting about how much she'd like to sit and watch tv with us.  Bless her heart!  Peyton was in full-on eye rolling mode and Keaton had retreated upstairs - he's too nice to ignore her and then he gets overwhelmed because he can't get his work done.  I am becoming somewhat cold-hearted (or practical, depending on the day) and do the best I can to make the situation pleasant, inviting her to sit with us, but not turning on the tv and not letting her be too distracting while the kids are doing their work.

Anyway, she was in a mood - and "a mood" usually translates into several laps around the house - trying to find a way to get us all to pretend that she didn't just act badly or say something hurtful to get her way (my least favorite part of ALZ) and to go to the bathroom - something to do?  a way to keep her eye on the family?  stress-induced?  I have no idea, but she made at least 10 trips in about 40 minutes last night.  By the 4th trip the Denture Game was in full swing.  Peyton gets all worked up about it - I honestly thought it was the idea of teeth lying around the house was freaking her out...last night I discovered she is terrified that Sophie is going to chew them up and G-Peg will have to live with us without her teeth in every day!

So, I set my alarm for 10 minutes early (4:20am) so I could sneak down and find and gather her denture stuff without waking her up, get it back into the bathroom, put the cleaning tablet in (I could tell she had neglected that part in last night's frenzy) and still get to TKP in time to get a lap lane.  I was successful!

I love my mom, I don't begin to understand her and since she was such a stranger to me after daddy died, I have no idea where this distrust comes from.  Sadly - it may have always been there and I was too young and selfish to notice or ask her about her beliefs or past or to hear something she may have tried to tell me that would explain this.  Maybe it happened after daddy was gone - maybe she senses, but doesn't quite remember, the details of how she was taken advantage of when her 2nd husband passed.  Maybe it's just a part of aging or Alzheimer's.  Whatever it is - the Denture Game is how it presents itself in our new world.  She seems no worse for it - she had no recollection of it last night or this morning.  It's funny how she has no problem with them being in the bathroom when she gets ready in the morning.  Even funnier when I don't get a chance to get them back in there and she fusses around wondering who moved her teeth.

I wonder if other ALZ families play this game to...or maybe it's the Coffee Cup Game or the Spoon Game or the "this is my Quarter" game. 

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