I should probably do a lot more research on Sundowner's before I go posting about it - but mom is showing the classic symptoms of the bit you can read on the google search results page!
Every evening about 5:30 she starts to wonder aloud if it's 'way too early to go to bed?' and if we've eaten supper yet....now THERE'S a word I miss from my youth - supper! I still use it when we have Sunday Supper, but I think every other evening meal is dinner...I wonder why? Anyway, no matter what kind of day mom has had - evening brings her fear. At least I think it's fear - who knows? and she certainly can't put a word to it. She gets anxious when she can't see me - I try and pop over every couple of minutes or so while I'm fixing "supper", but if I get caught up in my imaginary "I'm the Pioneer Woman" or "the fabulous Anne Burrell" moment, I forget and she calls my name....and when she sees me, she either has a body language collapse or she smiles and lights up - either way, she says "Oh, there you are!" and then she's good for another 2 minutes.
I try and sit down and eat with her every meal - it's especially important in the evenings. And if I guess her appetite correctly and she enjoys the food (tonight I took the leftover calzone filling (Pioneer Woman) and marinara and boiled some penne, then mixed it with a can of diced tomatoes, a quarter cup of cream, some pasta water and some fresh basil ... and some red pepper flake for me - don't tell mom! ... and I toasted some Italian bread with lots of olive oil and garlic and we had a hit on our hands!) we have a wonderful, pretty relaxed meal. Her favorite subject at the dinner table is the trees in our backyard - she is tree obsessed right now.
After dinner the "What day is this?" begins and it increases in frequency as it gets closer to bedtime. Sometimes we can find a distraction that holds her interest and takes away some of the fear - last night it was that show "Celebrity Game Night". What a hoot - I was the only one who wanted to watch it - I got a collective eye roll from my family when I put it on...10 minutes into it - everyone was back in the family room laughing out loud! Even MOM! It was fun, it was funny, it got everyone shouting answers at the tv, the mood was a bit frantic, but it was something mom was part OF, not wondering about (that's the kind of frantic we get when Peyton decides to break into a dance routine or gymnastics run - freaks mom out!)
Tonight Patrick got home late from a very long day and both kids had mini-disappointments - Peyton's friend couldn't sleep over and both of the games Keaton was supposed to guest play in got cancelled due to rain. SO, mom and I are in the red room - I am typing, she is looking at trees and asking "Lisa, what day is it?" She seems pretty peaceful - I've gotten her to laugh quite a bit today - laughter is magic.
I've been reading her the articles about the royal baby every day after breakfast and she likes that. I am still in the hit and miss stage with what I can and can't read to her - anything with a really familiar name upsets her because she knows she should know who that is (and yes, I am tempted to tease her with Hillary Clinton, but that would just be mean. Besides mom doesn't vote anymore, so we aren't cancelling each other out every 4 years...that's a good sign for Hillary in '16) The articles about plants or gardens, the real estate descriptions of the spectacular homes, anything about pets and the royal baby make mom smile and sometimes laugh and keep her in a good place.
Sorry, I wandered! So, I know it's 10-15 minutes from time to get her ready for bed when she starts asking (or demanding on bad days) "Where do I sleep?" in between every "What day is this?" When the sleep or bed questions take over - it's time. If I go too soon, she will fight me and bedtime is not any fun. If I read her correctly - it's kind of sweet - like putting a toddler to bed. A toddler who is learning to put on their own pj's and brushing their own teeth. So many similarities in taking care of mom and taking care of a 2-year-old. And it really helps when I think of it like that.
We are getting close to bed time - probably 12 minutes until time to officially start the process. So off I go - another day in the record books. Good night
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