Today was a day of juggling - lots of things to do, lots of places to be and lots of organizing to accomplish it all.
You see, I dream of being the mom who creates fond memories for her children - many moons ago, Keaton did one of those little fill in the blanks booklets for me around Mother's Day. You know, my mom is _____, my mom loves ____ and my mom likes to WORK! Out of the mouths and pens of babes. I decided that day/month/year to try and do a better job of presenting myself as a less work-obsessed, more well-rounded mommy!
Anyway, fast forward to these past few weeks and then multiply it by the guilt I feel for bringing mom to live with our entire family. (I wouldn't think anything of it if it was just me, but it's ALLLLLLL of us!) So, I am constantly having this internal conversation with myself..."why don't they understand how difficult this is?" "why should they have to suffer and change their entire lives to accommodate mom?" "she really needs to stay on her schedule." "this is our home and my kids get to live in their house and play in their house and watch their shows and play their music..." "I may have to curb some of their activities to find a balance."
This weekend the kids point of view won the internal battle and I gave them their privacy on Friday night to watch their channels and play music and take over the kitchen table with crafts while Mom and I watched "West Side Story" in her room. Bless Peyton's heart - she kept wandering in, wanted to watch with us and wanted to share the things she was doing with us, but mom just doesn't have it in her to be interested in anything that isn't about her. And then yesterday, we had one of Peyton's friends over (which turned into a sleepover) and then one of Keaton's buddies showed up to play video games. It threw mom for a loop - who were all these people and why did they keep coming in to interrupt us? What was all that noise in the other room? What's so funny? What? What? What?!
The evening ended with them getting invited to Jason's to swim - hmmmm...how would I handle that - they probably wouldn't be home until after mom was in bed and they hadn't eaten. I made a picnic - packed coolers with sandwiches, chips, cookies, ice, drinks, cups, napkins and a beer for me - well-deserved, I might add! Then I sent texts to inform them of their need to be quiet coming home and that dinner would be served upstairs. It worked! I had to be pretty creative to find enough places to hang all the wet swim suits and beach towels and goggles (also quietly!).
Then this morning, Keaton had a baseball game in the far reaches of McKinney and had to leave right when I get mom up. Tiptoeing, organization, multi-tasking - filling coolers and water jugs while scrambling eggs and making coffee and answering the morning's barrage of questions. Success!
Then I had to get myself ready to go watch part of the game and prepare my daughter to fix mom's lunch and help her with her exercises and leave without mom losing it....what channel and what time for her to watch the Open, how to fix the microwave pizza that mom likes and why I only put half on the plate and why there needs to be 3 items included in the lunch offering, not one and not two and certainly not four...unless the forth is a pill or a dessert item! How much time they should spend outside, how to answer the questions she will probably ask, why she needs to look her in the eyes, speak clearly and call her Grandma EVERY time she talks to her.
Then I planned the schedule of texts home to encourage and check, made sure I was taking the right pictures, getting a bit of sun since it feels like I haven't been outside for weeks!, cheered on the team, picked the right and hopefully quickest way home, got Peyton to accomplish her list of activities with mom so she could invite another friend over...whew.
And then, how to answer the inevitable question..."Did you go someplace today?" There is no right answer - and there are no clear cues on what reaction the truth will get - it's a crap shoot.
Finally, we are home, coolers are emptied, trash is out, everyone has eaten, dishwasher is unloaded and reloaded, lawn is being watered, recycling out, kids are showered, Peyton's play date is in its last 30 minutes, dog has been exercised, bits of life have been picked up and put away, mom's laundry is in the wash waiting for this last outfit to be taken off, lights are lower, fridge is cleaned out, evening pills have been given and we are starting the "What time is it?...Is that where I go to bed? ... Is it time for me to go upstairs (an old reference to Meadowlakes)? and I am feeling pretty accomplished. I don't believe I have lost my temper once today or been ugly to anyone. By the way - the QOD is once again "Lisa, what is today?" and "I wonder if Lisa is going to come and get me for anything today?" Sigh...oh well, If this whole caregiver thing doesn't work out - I can get a job juggling with the circus!
No comments:
Post a Comment