Good heavens, tonight mom and I had our first fight! She had this huge day of appointments and therapy and she was worn out by 4:30. Her nurse told me that its totally normal for her to be tired and fall asleep often and the rest will be good for her recovery. I also know that if she sleeps all afternoon and evening, she will be up all night - which means I will be up all night. So I created things for her to do so she would stay awake - we had a family dinner, I got her in the car and we took Murph to baseball practice, we drove the LONG way home and I found an oldies station and I tried to get her singing, I made her ice cream and peanut butter (my best trick to get protein and calories in her) and we went all out on the bedtime routine. I even kept her awake all the way until 9:00!
Peyton and I were out in the family room - she had a movie on, I was doing laundry and here comes mom and she's MAD! No way to know what she thought was or had happened, but she was agitated big time. She told Peyton she just "had to get out of that room", "if she didn't get out of there she was going to lose her mind" and she plopped down on the couch. I tried to tell her she needed to get her rest, that she needed to get a good night's sleep and that she had only been in bed for 15 minutes...she wasn't having any of it. She was determined to stay up and Patrick and Keaton were on their way home from baseball. I asked mom to put her robe on if she was going to stay out in the living room and she refused. Mom, who used to be so independent, will find a way to not move whenever possible. I know it's because she's tired and confused and hurting, but I also know if I do everything for her, she will let me and I will lose that much more of her. I can't imagine the limitations on her once she becomes wheelchair bound...
I asked her again to put on the robe and she told me to just throw it over her...her nightgown ( her fave) lacks a little something for public viewing! I expect to wear whatever I darn-well please when I am 85 as well...but not in front of my guys. Don't get me wrong - they can handle it - but it would make Murph a bit uncomfortable. She got so angry with me after asking her again to stand up and put her robe on and then telling her I would prefer she put her robe on since the boys were coming home... She stood up, but not to put the robe on...she stood up, called me bossy and stormed out of the room....well, as close to storming as you can get in a pink nighty with a walker! I told her she could be as "pissy" as she wanted, but she still needed to put on the robe! It wasn't the correct response, but I had obviously depleted my patience for the day! She got back in her room and I could tell she felt badly...so did I. I try a hundred times each day to put myself in her shoes and imagine how scared I would be to not know where I was or why most of the time. I just wish she had the trust in me to know I wouldn't let anything happen to her and that I always am trying to do what's best for her...but the reality is, that's not the relationship we have.
All ended well, I found my patience, mom
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