Some Days are Tougher Than Others

Yesterday was an up and down day for mom.  She woke up joyful and singing.  She got a special early morning greeting from Sophie (aka the Furry Alarm Clock!) and we had a nice breakfast.  I decided I could not cook, so we had cereal and she was pleased as punch.  We had recorded the Buckeyes game and we watched as a family (minus Peyton who could care less about football...adopted, perhaps?) and mom had a couple of really nice flashback memories of living in Ohio.

We got McDonald's for lunch - Peyton and mom could LIVE on McD's, so that was good.  She ate her fries and most of my fries and that was good.  She drank her entire Orange soda, which usually lasts for 2 meals and that was good.

That's where the good ended.  Somewhere between lunch and the next 5 minutes, she got anxious, confused, irritable and nervous.  She paced between rooms, she looked for people that weren't there.  She talked to my kids like they were her peers and not ones she particularly liked!  She started hiding/hoarding...it's a thing she has done for a couple of years, but yesterday it was crazy out-of-control.  She wraps random things up in tissue, stuffs them in her pockets or walker and then hides them around her room.

Having the house all torn up and all our office papers stacked on the island while we wait for the insurance claim to go through has to be tempting.  She had a business card from the restoration people, nail clippers, a purple toy duck and 55 cents.  That's what I found.  I'm sure there may be one or two other things, but that was what I found so far.  Hiding/Hoarding is almost always a sign of anxiety and some challenging behavior - rarely the same challenges from incident to incident, but I can tell it's coming.

Yesterday mom decided to WILL herself back to Meadowlakes.  Keaton was an 80-year old man - he got a big kick out of that (at first!), Peyton was Sue, I think - one of the residents my mom described as 'bossy' and I was Rosemary or Yvonne (not sure).  I have no idea who Patrick was.  Mom was imagining things and then describing them in detail.  I am trying not to argue with her much - it doesn't serve a purpose and it frustrates her, but when she insists that things are happening TO her that aren't...where do you draw the line?

By dinner time, she was convinced that the other people in here were trying to nicely get her to leave this place.  She was complaining loudly regardless of if there was anyone else in the same room, about being left for hours all alone.  She was mad because I took her car without asking.  Poor Keaton had to do a homework project on the computer downstairs and she wouldn't let up.  She actually got ugly with him and Patrick shut her down!  Patrick is the single most patient person on this Earth, but don't mess with our kids!

Dinner was late - she hates that!  Everyone was home for dinner - she's not real crazy about that either - 3 meals with 5 people - YIKES!  Dinner being late = evening pills being late - no bueno!  AND it was a school night - really REALLY hates that!  Lunches to be packed, homework to be verified, backpacks loaded, waters chilled and muffins made.  By muffins - mom had lapped the house 30 times "looking for my............................." (she never finishes that sentence).  She stopped to watch us make muffins and she criticized everything in a very sweet voice (the devil's advocate again, I am sure).  At one point we were talking about how the kids get to school and she wondered aloud "how Keaton does that?"  I said, "Oh mom, I take him." and she said "No, MY Keaton"  and I said "My son, Keaton?" and she said "No, my daughter's son, MY grandson, Keaton." and I said "Mom, I'm Lisa, your daughter." and she said "No you're not."  I tried to convince her one more time, but I could tell she was about to say something mean to me and I lose my filters about 8:00pm, so I just excused myself and went upstairs to put on my jammies.

I think my heart broke a little bit.  I hit my knees and prayed.  I stayed on my knees and thanked God for this opportunity and for all the things that have been going right and not wrong.  And then I got up, splashed water on my face, put on my comfies and went back downstairs.

They ended up being really great chocolate chip muffins.  And I had a really great cup of ice cream.  I also put both kids in our bed and Peyton and I read another chapter of Anne of Green Gables before everyone went off to bed.

Some days are tougher than others - I just have to keep being tougher than those days!