Mom has started pulling her sweater up around her face - sometimes all the way over her eyes and sometimes for hours at a time. I have no idea why. She doesn't seem to be sad or cold or frightened. Maybe she's hiding? I can't imagine from what. Maybe it helps her feel safe. Maybe it's a comfort.
I know I will pull the blankets up all around my face (never over, but all the way around) to go to sleep when I am especially happy to be going to bed. I find comfort in the feeling of a soft "blankie" on my cheeks. Maybe that's what mom is feeling.
I tried to ask her, but she doesn't even know she's doing it...at least I don't think she knows. Every moment is such a mystery.
Tonight at dinner she was saying how she never thought she'd get to where she couldn't just do everything for herself. She hasn't the slightest idea of how long she has needed help. I could tell she was more herself - not a child or a teenager - and although I don't think she knows exactly who I am, she knows she knows me. I was able to look in her eyes and smile. I love that.
There are times when looking her directly in the eye makes her uncomfortable or angry or brings out the spit and vinegar. Tonight it was okay. Tonight I could tell her that we would always be here to help her with anything she couldn't do. That she didn't need to worry about anything. Tonight.
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