Here it is Friday again - this week has flown by in true Spring Break fashion. I am sure I would tire of all this leisure if it were my daily norm, but Oh, how I adore the weeks with no school, no homework, no dance, no conditioning, no cheer, no bedtimes! And now it's Friday - the last official day of Spring Break. Tomorrow is just the start of another weekend, with school on the other side of it. But for today - it is still Spring Break.
Which brings me to today's FMF topic: Crowd
A crowd by definition is a large group of people. My mom seems to crave people - she constantly asks for more people. "Where is everybody today?" is one of the Top 10 QODs in our world. And yet...
and yet...
This week, there are actually lots more people around - the kids, their friends, my husband and mom is no longer interested in more people. She is clearly confused by the presence of these real people.
I think the crowd she is craving are people from her past or people she has imagined or conjured up from bits and pieces of memories that are frayed. She'll tell me daily about conversations she has had or things she has "heard" from maybe the neighbors across the street or Sophie, our dog, or "everyone" - no idea exactly who they are, but they are very real to mom.
The crowd mom is looking for brings with it renewed independence. Her own home. Her own activities. A husband. A golf foursome. The ladies at BINGO. The ladies at her favorite restaurant or the Senior Center. Maybe her family when she was younger. Her schoolmates. Her co-workers. Rarely her immediate family - the one I am part of.
I wonder if it's the people she really misses or if it's the idea of a time when things weren't so scary, when remembering was easier, when words weren't so hard to find. Because this week, surrounded by people, mom was still asking "Where is everybody?".
I'm right here, mom...you won't have to be alone, I promise....not exactly what she wants, but it's the best I can do.
This post is part of Lisa Jo Baker’s Five Minute Friday, in response to the prompt “crowd” I wrote for 5 minutes and published without editing, in 5 minute Friday tradition.
So beautiful! It brings back memories of my great grandma.
ReplyDeleteAlzheimers is such a mysterious disease. Who knows what they are really thinking in their minds. I have always said, though, that this is a disease that is so much harder on the families than it is on the person who actually has the disease. Hang in there, friend. We are starting Spring Break here. Actually the kids are calling it Spring Hesitation this year because they will only get today, Monday, and Tuesday. Then back to school on Wednesday. Their school year ends on April 29 due to a huge construction project that will be going on in our district
ReplyDeleteMy kids said they be happy to trade spring break for spring hesitation if they could be done on April 29! Thanks for the encouragement.
DeleteMy Mom also asks each day "Where is everybody". When I ask her who she responds "Everyone else". I will tell her that we are all here or that Frank and Ting are at work and that seems to satisfy her. It never occurred to me that she may be speaking of people from the past. She is unable to put names to anyone anymore. Scary disease isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI have several names these days. One of them, I don't recognize and guess it's from when she was either really little or her roommate before she got married to Daddy. She mixes people together too - from different times in her life, but to her it all makes sense. ALZ stinks!
ReplyDelete