Visit - a word my mother used a lot as I was growing up. Probably a word she learned growing up. "Visit" to my mom was not going somewhere - it was spending time with someone talking. Maybe at our home, maybe at theirs, maybe over the phone or standing in line at the DMV.
Mom always liked a good "visit". She was excited to share the news she had learned, the stories her friends and acquaintences had to share. It put her in a good mood. It made her feel a part of something other than her daily life, I suppose.
She didn't have Facebook or Twitter or texting or e-mail. To visit meant to connect face to face most of the time. I am my mother's daughter when it comes to the face to face visit. It's the best way, the preferred way, the way that brings me the most joy.
I am sad that mom can no longer "visit" with friends or even family. She has lost us somewhere in her ALZ wracked brain. She imagines visits from the past - or remembers, who knows? But those memories or imaginations still make her smile.
So I listen and try and help her feel like she is still a part of something other than her daily life.
I am thankful that she taught me the art of conversation with other women. A joy that cannot be duplicated. A "visit" with a good friend is better than cheesecake, better than homemade mashed potatoes, better than a great swim, better than pie...and that's really GOOD!
This post is part of Lisa Jo Baker’s Five Minute Friday, in response to the prompt “visit.” I wrote for 5 minutes and published without editing, in 5 minute Friday tradition.
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Thanks for sharing this....I too care for my mom who has Lewy Body dementia and she has faded too....She is 91 and it breaks my heart when she cannot remember at all. May God Bless you!
ReplyDeleteJust read your post...you almost lost me at "hog maw", but that sounds like a perfect day...save me a seat at the jigsaw puzzle table!
DeleteI love how this is the same type of "visiting" I just wrote about, without having read your post yet! It's the same way my grandmother refers to visiting, which she has passed to her daughters and granddaughters and which hopefully I will be able to pass along to her great-granddaughter, my daughter, as well. I am thankful to know that art of conversation with other women, too. I can't imagine how hard it must be to see your mother in a place where she can no longer visit or do the other things she used to, but it sounds like you and she are lucky to have each other.
ReplyDeleteIt was meant to be...my mom is "Grandma Peggy" too! I remember the living room well in my grandmother's house...lots of beautiful mismatched tea cups and saucers on glass shelves that she would let me take down and play with on special days.
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